repeat offenders

Guys, I am so sorry I have been absent so long.  Real life got really busy and I just had a hard time finding inspiration.  I swear I will be back for a proper recap very soon!

I was watching the new Melrose Place tonight (I know, I know) when this idea came to me.  I realized why some of the actors on MIOBI were so familiar–I’d seen them in other bad movies/TV shows!  So I did a little imdb-fu and uncovered some awesomely recappable gems from their dark, dark pasts:

1. Rosa Blasi a.k.a. Ma Cruz
Ahh, the one who started it all.  While watching Melrose, I thought I saw a vaguely familiar rich, bored housewife:

She’s getting cheated on by her slimy husband.  Guess it’s karma for stepping out on Alex!

2. Chelsea Hobbs a.k.a. Emily Kmetko
She seems to have specialized in made-for-TV movies which are probably pretty bad and not worth spending the time recapping, but I did find one spectacularly recappable flick on her resumé: Perfect Body, a fabulously cheesy and fabulously 90s gymnastics flick starring the pink Power Ranger. 

3. Cassie Scherbo a.k.a. Lauren Tanner
Was in one of the 134324321 Bring It Ons.  I think I actually caught this one on TV once, and it’s not an experience I care to repeat.  But due to Cassie being in a fairly major role and a tenuous connection to Twilight fandom (Coupon’s in it), I might feel compelled to take one for the team here.

4. Cody Longo a.k.a. drug dealer Nick
Was in yet another Bring It On, which I watched out of sheer boredom and possible recap-ability.  Wei Wei from Stick It was in it, as well as John Locke’s ma.  It’s starting to really chagrin me to see Lost repeatedly six-degree-ing this show.

5. Susan Ward a.k.a. Chloe Kmetko
I hit pay dirt with her.  So much recappability in her resumé!  But this is a young adult lit blog, so no Wild Things 2 for you!  I would like to get my hands on Malibu Shores sometime, though… Charisma Carpenter and Keri Russell, and so gloriously 90s.  And how could we forget this opus?

I remember this movie!  It didn’t make much of an impression on me at the time, but now that I know Matthew Settle was in it, I might feel obliged to recap it.  It’s pretty 90s-licious, too (ehhh, 2000 counts as the 90s as far as I’m concerned).

There’s more potential recappability on other actor imdb pages, but I don’t think any power in this ‘verse could get me to watch any of the stuff on Creepy Carter’s resumé.  Even I have my limits.

6 thoughts on “repeat offenders

  1. These guys all sound awesomely sleazy. Yeah, new hump day! (Sorry, i’ve seen WAY too many of those “Tuesday is the new hump day” ads.)

  2. Brett Cullen, mentioned on The Perfect Body poster, also plays Payson’s dad (aka Pa Keeler).

  3. Malibu Shores!! Don’t tell me that hasn’t made it to DVD yet? My 8th grade crew used to have sleep overs to watch MS every Friday night… it was our Dawson’s Creek before there was a Dawson’s Creek.

    • I paid someone like 10 bucks for a TERRIBLE DVD of Malibu Shores that had been transferred from vhs. I think it was only 13 episodes, then it was canned. I’ve been dying for them to officially release it on DVD along with Model’s Inc! Some of Aaron Spelling’s finest one season 90’s shows.

  4. Love this list….Ma Cruz was also on a horrible lifetime show called Strong Medicine and another Cassie Scerbo fantastic film is Soccer Mom…right about on the same level as Bring It On….I will never get those 4 hours back between those movies, but will be tuning in for Jan. 4th premier or Make It Or Break It-seriously, even if you don’t do the HILARIOUS full recaps, even a brief analysis of your thoughts so we can all comment would be awesome…and clips are up on ABC family, might have to start getting ideas to add to the drinking game!

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