TV Recap: Shadowhunters s01e10 “This World Inverted” or “It’s Almost Impressive How Boring This Show Makes an Alternate Universe”

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Alternate universes are my jam. Seriously, if you me want to fangirl the crap out of something, throw in an alternate universe. Fringe’s altverse, 12 Monkeys and Misfits and Lost with the timey-wimey, Revolution with Aaron’s nanotech-induced altverse dream; Star Trek: the Next Generation’s many alt-verse scenarios, Star Trek: Enterprise’s mirror-verse, Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s “Wish”-verse—if it’s an alternative universe, it’s catnip.

Until this show.

I was actually really excited when I learned that this episode featured an alternate universe. Sure, this show makes me hate my very existence and everyone else’s, too, but alternate universes make everything better, right? That and cats. Well, I can honestly the say the most impressive thing about this episode is how boring they made an alternate universe. You know shit’s dire when a show’s being compared unfavorably to Star Trek: Enterprise.

In other awesome news, Shadowhunters has been renewed for a second season!

I know how much you missed this gif.

I know how much you missed this gif.

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TV Recap: Shadowhunters s01e09 “Rise Up” or “Eh, Fuck It.”

When last we left our heroes, Simon supersped off from the cemetery after rising from his grave as a newborn vampire. Raphael, his apparent vampire-mentor now, supersped after him, while Clary stayed behind crying and Jace comforted her.

Now, we open with Simon running awkwardly down an alley before he’s intercepted by Raphael next to a decrepit food truck. He sees his reflection in the truck’s shattered window, and asks Raphael if he’s not actually a vampire. Raphael’s like nah, bro, you still dead as hell, but it’s OK, I’ll take you back to the DuMort and fix you a nice hot blood sundae. Simon throws Raphael against the food truck and runs off.

"I'm so emo, my pathos broke the fucking window."

“I’m so emo, my pathos broke the fucking window.”

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TV Recap: Shadowhunters s01e07 “Major Arcana” or “Can Someone Just Kill Simon Already?”

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Seven weeks ago, I got an urge to recap another crappy TV show. It was with excitement and anticipation that I attacked my first Shadowhunters recap, but alas, what was once entertaining and amusing has now become tedious. Or maybe that’s just the show’s plot. But I am a woman of my word, so I bring you the latest Shadowhunters clusterfuck.

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TV Recap: Shadowhunters S01E04: “Raising Hell” or “Gerard was da sexiest guy eva!”

Another week, another shitshow!

Oh wait, I forgot to be excited.

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Shadowhunters S01E02 “The Descent Into Hell Is Easy” or “All You Have To Do is Watch This Show”

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Aaaaaaand I’m back with another Shadowhunters recap. Let us rejoice and be glad!

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Shadowhunters S1E01 “The Mortal Cup” or “I Hope That Cup’s Full of Booze”

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I’ve really missed recapping a TV show, and have been seeking out a sci-fi or fantasy series wacky, campy, or silly enough to suit the tone of this blog. The Shannara Chronicles seemed to fit the bill, but then I remembered Shadowhunters and figured I’d get more attention if I recapped that seeing as it’s connected to a figure of internet notoriety. Hey, can’t fault me for honesty.

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Fifty Shades of Run Gurl Run: A movie review

I didn't want this movie poster on my blog. So have a gif instead.

I didn’t want this movie poster on my blog. So have a gif instead.

Full disclosure: I have not read the Fifty Shades of Grey books (although I did read part of the first one when it was still Twilight fan fiction). I have read Jenny Trout’s extremely detailed recaps, however, so I feel I am pretty knowledgable about the books. Yes, Jenny’s recaps are biased, as most recaps are, but she provides a significant amount of textual evidence for her conclusions, and I suspect I would have largely agreed with her anyway.

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